Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you will always have a special place in my vag
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
