Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize