I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
