Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Come on in and take your pants off
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