how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
