i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
