Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
