If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
