It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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