Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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