we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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