who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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