No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
so much tequila, so little girl.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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