Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
