Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
