I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Terrible idea I love it
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
