Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
