I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
