So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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