you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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