The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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