she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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