i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
