Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
