ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
