shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
