What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
