I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
