I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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