Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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