she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize