do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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