She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
