Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
