what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
