I bet he comes in French.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
