Please, let me fuck your mom
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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