I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
