dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
