How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
