You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
