My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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