Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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