my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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