i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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