I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
