We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
