we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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