i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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