She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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