There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
