your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize