This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
