Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
