I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
bring money and cleavage
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
