She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
