He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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