Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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