why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
