Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
