I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
