Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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