no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
