Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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