90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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