We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
