It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
