well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i drank out of a bidet.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
