I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
