From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
two words...techno handjob
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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