Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
