Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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