Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
