Whod you bang
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
