You work out of a Hotel?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize