i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am puke
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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