READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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