Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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